Why and How to Offer Choices to Your Little One?

 As a parent, you may often believe that asking children for their opinions on certain topics might spoil them, or as caregivers, you might often make decisions for your little ones, from what they eat to what they wear. However, it's essential to give them some options and allow them to have a say in certain things. Giving children options is crucial in terms of their development, and it can help them to learn decision-making skills, boost their confidence, and promote their independence.

Why do we need to give children options?

Giving children options can help in many ways, including:

Decision-making skills: Giving options to your little one can have a positive impact on their decision-making skills. When children are presented with different options, they are encouraged to think critically and consider the pros and cons of each choice. This process can help children develop important decision-making skills, such as weighing options, assessing risks, and making choices based on personal preferences and values. This helps them develop their decision-making skills, which are essential in later life. 

Confidence: When children are given the opportunity to make choices for themselves, they feel more in control and empowered. This sense of control can help them feel more confident in their ability to make decisions and take charge of their lives. Additionally, when children are offered choices, they have the chance to explore their personal preferences and values. This self-exploration can help children develop a stronger sense of self and build confidence in their identity.

Independence: Children who are given choices are more likely to become independent individuals because offering options to little children helps them develop a sense of responsibility. When children make choices, they are more likely to take ownership of the outcomes and feel accountable for their decisions. This sense of responsibility can help them to develop some level of ethics and a sense of pride in their accomplishments.

Creativity: Giving options to your little one can have a positive impact on their creativity too. When children are given choices, they have to use their imagination and creativity to make decisions. For example, when a child is given the option to choose their own activity or toy, they are more likely to engage in imaginative play and explore their creativity. They may choose to build a tower out of blocks, create a painting, or play dress-up, all of which involve using their imagination and developing their creativity.

How can we support them while offering choices?

Even though it is developmentally valuable to give your little one an option, it is also important to note that children may need explanation, guidance, and support while making choices, particularly when they are very young or facing complex decisions. It is very important to set boundaries so that children do not get lost in the options. 

Here are some tips to provide support for them: 

Reflect that you understand your little one’s desires, wishes, and thoughts. If they don’t want to choose some specific action, tell them that you understand while reflecting on their feelings. For example, you may use sentences such as "I know you don't want to do your homework right now, I understand you." and then offer them an option to finish their homework at another time. This will also help them to understand their limits, you can also use sentences like “You have to finish your homework sometime before you go to school to fulfill your responsibility." to help them better differentiate their desires and responsibilities. 

Offer them choices within limits. While it's important to give children options, it's also essential to set limits. Offer them a few options within reasonable limits to avoid overwhelming them.  By offering alternatives, you can reduce the pressure on your children and make a compromise. You can give them a few options, that you’ve already decided on and let them choose from one of them. 

Reflect on their choice. Sometimes, it might be difficult to understand the concept of making choices for younger children. To make sure that you’re on the same page and that they’re fully aware of their choices, you should reflect on their choices by talking about them. For example, sentences like "You chose to do your homework now and watch TV later. So, right now you should finish your homework and then we'll turn the TV on." might help them to gain a better understanding of their choices. 

Allow them to decide on daily activities. When dressing children, allow them to pick out their clothes from a selection of options, or when they’re eating give them a few healthy options to choose from. Especially, if your children are young, starting these kinds of small, unimportant, and daily choices is better for their development. 

Overall, giving children options is an essential aspect of their development. It helps them develop their decision-making skills, boosts their confidence, promotes their independence, and stimulates their creativity. As caregivers, we should aim to offer children choices within limits, allowing them to make mistakes and learn from them.